Mano

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the difficulties of an exchange year, and there are more than plenty to talk about. I think, though, this week made me realize that the hardest thing is to understand where you are.

Not literally, of course, but because I think about time so much and how long it’s been since I arrived, I can’t stop comparing myself and wondering if I should be acting differently, if I should be more or less comfortable, if my Spanish should be 100x better, if all all of the other exchange students are having a much better time than I am. I hit seven weeks on Thursday, and some things feel like they haven’t much changed at all. I still feel like a stranger in my class room, kids will still swarm me and shout “Hello!”, absolutely shocked when I answer in simple Spanish.

And seven weeks seems like a long time but it doesn’t compare to the 44 I’m here. Which is why I wish sometimes I could stop putting such an emphasize on time, but I really can’t. Almost everyday I look at pictures from a month ago, then two months ago, then three. I look back at journal entries and I always remember each day in such specific detail. That’s the thing, is that days here don’t really seem to blend together like they do at home. I’m trying to decide whether this is a good or bad thing.

This week I felt that my Spanish might actually be worse than before. I know it sounds crazy but there were a lott of bad Spanish moments, more than the previous weeks. And it really adds on to my insecurities about being here, because I think language is definitely my hugest priority here.

If I had one piece of advice to give to people who are considering an exchange year like this, it would be to not compare your experience to other exchange students. I think the most important thing is to put most of your focus on the present, only a little on the past, and almost none on the future.

Anyway, speaking of difficulties,

I had a good amount of trouble choosing the word for this week. This is a good problem to have, because there were a lot of contenders. Do you remember how I talked about the interviews last week? Well, on Monday, my English teacher and I planned the questions, and on Tuesday we filmed the videos. Doing the actual videos was fun enough, but my favorite part was knowing that back home, my Spanish class could get to see a little part of my life here. I also loved the questions I asked. It’s so amazing to hear people talk about their culture and what they love about it. I had asked everyone if they had questions for the students in Maine, and it was so cool to see what they were curious of. My favorite question, of course, was “what is your favorite Colombian word?” and to my linguistic delight, everyone had a different answer. There was “parcero” (friend/dude), “chimba” (cool), ñapa (a little more) and so many other ones I adored.

But I chose “mano” which was a word given to me by one of my closest friends here. “Mano” is just another word for “man”, although the direct translation of mano is hand. I chose the word he gave because this week, we were talking about the language barrier. And this conversation really opened my eyes because he, too, faces a barrier in Colombia. My friend is Venezuelan and still lives there, so he crosses the border every morning to go to school. He was telling me how he has to change some of the words he says, because not everyone will understand the Venezuelan slang.

Our situations are completely different, but it’s really cool to talk with someone from a different background who I can find similarities with. It also really puts it in perspective how close the border of Venezuela is to Cúcuta. There was a tradition this week that men give yellow flowers to women, which is both a Venezuelan and Colombian custom, so it was beautiful to see the amount of yellow flowers this week.

In other words, mano, I really haven’t done a lot this week. But that’s okay, because on Thursday I have my first ever Rotary trip to Pamplona. I’ve been thinking about it alll week. Not only do I get to see another part of Colombia, but I get to meet all the other inbounds in the district. Pamplona’s only two hours away from Cúcuta, but everyone says how cold it is there. Honestly, I’m expecting it to be not cold at all based on how everyone’s so used to the heat, but it really will be nice to get a break from the calor.

I apologize that this week really didn’t have a lot going, yet next time I’ll talk all about the Pamplona trip. I actually kind of have a lot on my mind because of college applications, and well, not to mention yet another difficulty, but applying from another continent is pretty tough. Especially because this year I have no grades and am technically not completing a full senior year. There are pros and cons to everything!

I hope to have a lot to tell you a week from now. Hopefully it’ll be more positive. But to anyone who’s considering doing an exchange year, don’t let my complaints get in the way. In the grand scheme of things, they are tiny little speed bumps on an insanely rewarding road. By the way, do you know how they say “speed bumps” in Latin America? Policía acostado. I learned this while chatting with my German exchange student friend and a boy in my school, when we were talking about the differences between Germany and Colombia. It’s always going to be the little moments like that that I remember the most.